No sooner do you announce your engagement, and your close friends and relatives will be wondering and even waiting to get your call. You see, they will expect that, they, being your favorite friends, buddies, cousins, sister or brother, will be chosen to be in the wedding party. They may even expect to hold one of the prime spots; Maid of Honor or Best Man.

Choosing the line up usually consists of thinking of those people closest to you, friends and relatives alike. It’s normally not too hard to pick your attendants because there can be anywhere from one to 7, 8 or more on either side. You’re really only limited by space for everyone to stand. Choosing the “honor spots” can be a little trickier though.

Photo of a group of bridesmaids in white dresses standing against an outdoor wall awaiting the processional.

Picking a Best Man isn’t too tough because a Best Man’s duty list is fairly small. Organizing a bachelor party and giving a wedding speech aren’t usually big jobs when it’s a bunch of rowdy guys, so choosing “the one” usually boils down to who your “bestie” is. However, your brother trumps the best friend, even if you don’t get along that well. If you have more than one, it’s the closest one emotionally or in age, and if hurt feelings are inevitable, have two Best Men. No brothers? Then best friend it is. If there is more than one best friend, two Best Men can happen here too, but you can just choose the one you’ve known the longest.

Maid or Matron of Honor is harder because girls think about the responsibilities of the job more than we fellas do, let’s face it. But it’s still a decision of the heart and what “just feels right”. Other considerations would be how close you are to the prospective right hand girl, but you also have to think about which person will be better at giving you the support and attention you’ll need as you prepare for your wedding. Choose that person who will not create drama that you don’t need. One other thing to consider is how your choice will affect the person you choose. Can they afford the time and expense associated with the roll you choose them for? You may need to step in and help them defray some costs if their participation in your wedding day would cause undue hardship.

All in all, this is supposed to be a wonderful and exhilarating experience and the people you surround yourself with should add, not subtract from those feelings!

Dr. Stephan J. Smith is an ordained, non-denominational wedding officiant who has been marrying loving couples in Livingston, Genesee, Oakland and surrounding Michigan Counties for more than 10 years. With a calming and caring demeanor, Dr. Smith strives to make his weddings unique and beautiful. His custom ceremonies, attention to detail and the perfect balance of mood creates an environment of serenity and bliss that you’ll treasure for all time. You can contact him for questions and availability by email or phone using the “Contact Dr. Smith” tab above.