In this next post in my wedding planning series, I’m going to talk a bit about your wedding ceremony. Whether or not you get to choose the parts and elements of your wedding ceremony has mostly to do with whether or not you’re a member of an organized religion or church that has a doctrinal ceremony they adhere to. Specific religions and different sects or denominations within those religions often have specific processes within their wedding ceremonies which signify specific things in the marriage of a couple. In these cases, the amount of choice the couple has in vow selection, prayers, readings, music and other ceremonial parts varies greatly.
Since I am non-denominational, I am able to offer many choices in the building of a couples’ wedding ceremony so that it represents their relationship and personalities. I think this can make the ceremony more personal and memorable.
The ceremony parts can vary, but largely, the ceremony consists of an introduction, which can introduce the couple and start to describe their relationship. Then there is often an affirmation, which describes what marriage stands for and what the couples’ role in it is. This is usually followed by the wedding vows. These can be standard statements of commitment, or personally written vows by the couple to each other or both standard and personal vows. The vows are followed by the exchange of rings, which is accompanied by a description of what the ring exchange signifies. Then, there is the pronouncement of marriage, after which they finish the ceremony with their first kiss as a married couple. This is followed by presenting the couple to their attending wedding guests.
There are other components which can be added, such as readings, poems, passages of scripture, music, songs, hymns and many other things. Another symbolic ceremonial piece that may be added is a Unity Ceremony, which usually comes after the ring exchange. This has been traditionally done using candles, but a more recent trend uses colored sands. I think anything that symbolically shows two individuals coming together and becoming one could be done as long as it’s tasteful and acceptable.
When I meet with a couple initially, we talk about what things they want in their wedding ceremony so that I can begin the process of putting their ceremony together. Often, this involves me sending them samples to get an idea of what they like and we build the complete ceremony from there.
Whatever your particular ceremony entails, it is the substance of your union as a married couple and should reflect your beliefs and values, whether it’s a part of your religion or something you choose yourself.
Dr. Stephan J. Smith is an ordained, non-denominational wedding officiant who has been marrying loving couples in Livingston, Genesee, Oakland and surrounding Michigan Counties for more than 10 years. With a calming and caring demeanor, Dr. Smith strives to make his weddings unique and beautiful. His custom ceremonies, attention to detail and the perfect balance of mood creates an environment of serenity and bliss that you’ll treasure for all time. You can contact him for questions and availability by email or phone using the “Contact Dr. Smith” tab above.
